Learning to Manage Frustration

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This past week I had coffee with a client who is wrestling with a decision on whether or not to leave the job she currently has.  The job pays well and yet there are some things that simply don't work well for her there.  In the end, she will probably stay, as least until the current economic situation improves, but one thing she told me really got me thinking.  She told me that in spite of the situation, she would just learn to manager her frustration.

I had never heard that term before, but it makes total sense.  Manage my frustration.

Management is the science of putting order into chaos.  The early management theorists like Frederick Taylor even went so far as to measure hand placement on the shovels of coal miners to maximize efficiency.  Management is man's attempt to take the unwieldy and unknown and make it adaptable.  Managing frustration then is the art of leveraging what we don't enjoy into a useful tool.

Another way to look at it would be to think that frustration is the result of dealing with an outcome other than what we really want or need to happen.  If that's the case, then we need to develop an action plan to let change the current situation into the ideal.  The alternative is to bitch and moan about our predicament.  To do that, I have several suggestions:

1. Focus on the goal. If you've developed your Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) and you're on track to get it, think about the current situation in light of that.  If it's getting up up the mountain toward the goal, change your opinion of the current situation and view it as useful.
2. Learn from it.  Every difficult person or situation that's put in our life has the potential to make us grow.  While some of the things I experienced in my Naval career frustrated me, they all were shaping forces that allow me to be successful today, both in what I do and the audience I do it for.
3. Coach others through the process. No doubt someone will come along side you to give you a hand during tough times.  You should do the same.  If you've been able to manage frustration well, those coping skills should be taught to someone else.  It's also a great way to get the focus off yourself and get you helping your friends and neighbors. 

We were never promised a life without some frustration.  There will always be something standing in the way of our success and happiness.  Take some time this week to develop strategies to get you through those tough periods and you'll find the lessons you learned from frustration will become building blocks to future success.