The Seductive Power of Misery
This past week I taught a class on writing performance self-assessments to a group of Department of Defense civilians and military folks to prepare them for evaluation under the National Security Personnel System (NSPS) which is now in full swing. Now I've worked a lot with these audiences over the past few years and have yet to teach a group where they don't spend at least an hour expressing their distaste with the new system. Their complaints most often focus on the perceived unfairness, the potential to get screwed over, and more or less the helplessness they feel as the system continues to unfold. This week's groups were no exception. Fortunately, the course I was teaching showed them how much power they indeed had through the use of jointly set up (with their supervisor) job objectives and the added benefit of being able to write a detailed self-assessment of their performance. As the course went on, they began to see how much control they did had and by the end of each day everyone left with a new-found confidence and even a bit of enthusiasm. Well almost everyone.
I can't explain this, but it seems to me there are some folks who find a sense of comfort in a system where they're feeling victimized. The lack of control they feel gives them comfort and also a license to complain and excuse away any poor performance. Now let me say this isn't everyone, just a select few. Frankly, I don't know how a person could live like this, but then again that's just me.
Maybe I just find comfort in focusing on the things I CAN control and not dwelling on all the things I can't. In a strange way, that's probably the most significant power any of us have. We can't control the attitudes who evaluate us, but we sure as heck can do the best job we can and seek out more responsibility to increase our value. We can't control the price of gas as it goes over $4.00 per gallon, but we can opt to drive less, carpool more, and re-evaluate our driving habits. We can whine to each other, or we can take the time to express our displeasure to someone who might have more power to effect change, like our elected officials. No matter what you may think, you have control. At a minimum, you control your attitude. Optimism is a choice. Joy is a conscious decision. Love is a commitment. If you think about it, we are far more powerful and in control than we think. Those positive qualities are contagious. Just as misery loves company, joy is seductive and attracts both the joyous and the dejected. Fortunately, joyousness and thankfulness reap a far more positive outcome for all who choose to move toward it.
This week, why not take the opportunity to wield some real power? Focus on what you can change and let others who are drawn to misery take your "junk" from you! I think it's a much healthier way to live, don't you?





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